When Harriet Amongi was twelve years old her life was turned upside down.
Harriet is a 40-year-old Langi from Lira, a district in the Northern part of Uganda, now residing in Wembley Kiyembe barracks, a suburb in Kampala, Uganda. As the eldest of five children, Harriet faced immense challenges after the loss of her parents. Her mother passed away when she was nine, leaving behind an eight-month-old baby, and her father died three years later. Suddenly Harriet found herself responsible for her younger siblings with no immediate family to support them. With limited options, she moved in with her blind grandfather who was also staying in Lira. “Losing my parents did not settle well in my mind. I bottled up a lot of emotions because I had to be the strength of my family,’’ Harriet recalls. Despite the hardships, she persevered through school until senior three, aided by a supportive friend from her primary school. However, the weight of her responsibilities affected her mental health, which went largely unrecognized by those around her. “People always assumed that maybe being too bright has affected me or maybe I am bewitched,” she said with a smack on her face. When she had a mental health relapse she says she would reach a point of undressing herself and this caused her to feel very uncomfortable in school and students started discriminating against her.
Harriet’s struggles intensified when a man, left in charge of her by a sponsor, attempted to manipulate and assault her when she was 14 years old. On rejecting his advances, he turned her school against her, further shuttering her education dreams. As societal pressure increased, including threats from her clan uncles over her family’s land, Harriet’s mental health deteriorated leading her to contemplate revenge against the man who had wronged her. “I joined security with the aim of getting a gun so I could shoot the gentleman”, she says with tears flowing down her eyes. In 2008, Harriet met the father of her children and was encouraged to seek help for her mental health issues. Unfortunately, financial constraints and the side effects of her medication made it difficult for her to maintain a stable job, “I used to sleep a lot when I took the medicine and each time I spent sleeping was cut off my salary so I stopped taking the medicine” Harriet narrates. Despite her struggles, Harriet continued to support her siblings and their families, embodying the role of a dedicated elder sister.
Her mental health challenges peaked during her first pregnancy, leading to hospitalization at Butabika, a facility for the mentally ill, “I was always losing my mind during my first pregnancy that I almost gave birth at a mental health facility” she says. Her husband almost chased her from home but she insisted on staying, saying she had no place to go, and even after she gave birth she was always losing her mind and walking with her baby in her arms to far places. When she regained consciousness her friends who found her on the road would pick her up and take her home, her husband never cared much about her and considered her problem as a spiritual problem.
With all the countless struggles she had faced and was still facing while toiling for her family, being pushed beyond her limits by circumstances and being criticized by society, Harriet was always feeling hopeless, unhappy and tired. “With my life turned upside down and my husband abusing and hitting me, I sat outside my house crying, despite being heavily pregnant. A woman called Santa Labuk dubbed (Mama Achen) found me in tears and asked why I was so sad. I replied, ‘Why is it that I have never found peace since childhood? I have never laughed internally, why!?’ ” tears streamed down her cheeks as she spoke.
Mama Achen encouraged her, saying, “You know, near our church, there are women who gather every Tuesday and Thursday. Please make sure you come on those days to enjoy yourself and relieve some of this stress in your life.” The following Tuesday, Mama Achen came to Harriet’s home, took her by the hand and led her to Meeting Point International (MPI) in Kireka Acholi quarters. “This is the place to be, you will meet many women and men with different stories but they are all very happy and you will join them in their joy,” she assured Harriet.
At MPI, Harriet experienced a profound sense of happiness among the women. “This is when I saw a practical example of joy in that when someone laughs they laugh wholeheartedly, and when they clap and dance they all do it from the heart.” She said with a smile of gratitude on her face. Although Harriet had been attending meetings, she had never spoken closely with Rose Busingye until one day when she approached her requesting a scan thinking she might be carrying twins in her womb, “When I entered Auntie Rose’s office with my hospital results, I felt love,” She recalled. Facing numerous financial challenges, Rose asked Harriet how many children she had. After Harriet explained her situation, Rose requested her to bring photos of her children so she could see how best to help. Harriet hurried to gather the pictures and delivered them to MPI headquarters. Around the same period, Rose had travelled to Italy and while she was away, Harriet’s husband kicked her out of the house, forcing her to live with her children back in Lira. Upon her return from Italy, Rose called Harriet and urged her to bring the children back to town, informing her that MPI had secured sponsors to ensure the children could start their education immediately.
Rose also requested Harriet to bring her husband to the MPI offices upon their return so she could counsel the family. She reminded them of the importance of staying together for the sake of their children and working through their issues rather than ending their marriage. “When Auntie Rose spoke to my husband, he said, ‘Eh mama blessing… you took me to an international counsellor, not just any ordinary woman….. you are not easy!’ “
Thanks to MPI, Harriet and her family receive medical treatment whenever they need it. They are no longer worried about the cost of medicine because with the help of MPI, they can easily get the medicine and whenever they fall sick, they go to the hospital without any worries about payment. One might think that Harriet’s struggles with mental health ended but she kept getting several episodes. Upon joining MPI, she was given an opportunity to visit a doctor at Butabika Hospital for ongoing psychological sessions. She visits the doctor every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. “I usually come back from hospital after the women have finished their meeting but I still feel the energy they left behind in the room. I am always glad and relaxed because of that,” she shared.
Harriet was overjoyed to travel to Kenya in October 2024, a long-held dream of hers to connect with her late father and she says upon arrival she felt his presence and was glad to be in the country. “Before MPI arranged this trip, some friends of mine had plans to go to Kenya in December but did not invite me. So when the opportunity came through MPI, I was ecstatic. I called my friends to let them know I was in Kenya saying, ‘Since you did not include me in your plans, my friends at MPI have taken me with them. See you when I return!’” she said with a smile.
“I have simply found happiness at MPI where the bible teaches that true religion is to care for widows, orphans and the hopeless. I have witnessed that at MPI, where we come together, laugh, dance and release all the stress,” Harriet stated. She once saw herself as someone without value, referring to herself as a “walking corpse” due to her past pain. However, now she has discovered herself realizing that her life did not end the day she faced challenges; rather it began anew. She draws her strength from her children and the love surrounding her which helps her navigate through life. Through her journey, Harriet has found joy, love, peace and friendship. She also teaches her siblings the importance of discovering their value.
Written by Catherine Namirimu.
